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10 Tips for Building a Strong and Healthy Relationship with Your In-Laws

By Dr. Ritu BansalUpdated June 20269 min read

Reviewed by

Dr. Ritu Bansal · MA (Psychology), M.Phil (Clinical Psychology)

If you're a married woman in India, you know how important it is to have a good relationship with your in-laws. Whether you live with them or not, they can have a significant impact on your life and your marriage. In Indian culture, the bond between a woman and her in-laws is considered sacred, and it's often expected that she will adjust to their ways and traditions. But what if you're struggling to connect with them? What if you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them, never knowing what to say or do? You're not alone. Many Indian women face this challenge, and it's not always easy to navigate. That's why it's essential to build a strong and healthy relationship with your in-laws, and it's definitely possible with a little effort and patience. For instance, in a typical Indian joint family in Delhi, it's common for the daughter-in-law to take care of the household chores and cook meals for the entire family. By understanding and respecting these traditions, you can start building a strong foundation for your relationship with your in-laws.

Community Advice Disclaimer: This guide is based on community experiences and lifestyle advice. It is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for personal diagnoses or treatments.

What You'll Need

  • Patience
  • Empathy
  • Understanding of Indian culture and traditions
  • Good communication skills
  • A willingness to compromise
1

Get to Know Them as Individuals, Not Just as Your In-Laws

The first step in building a strong relationship with your in-laws is to get to know them as individuals. This means taking the time to talk to them, to listen to their stories, and to learn about their interests and hobbies. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very involved in their children's lives, and they may have a lot of wisdom and experience to share. For example, your mother-in-law may have a great recipe for homemade gajar ka halwa that's been passed down through generations, or your father-in-law may have a fascinating story about India's struggle for independence. By showing genuine interest in their lives, you can start to build a connection with them that goes beyond just being your in-laws. You can ask them about their childhood, their parents, or their favorite memories. You can also ask them about their expectations from you and your husband, and what they hope for your future together. This will help you understand their perspective and values, and you can start to build a strong foundation for your relationship. As you get to know them, you may also want to learn more about thyroid symptoms or irregular periods to better understand any health concerns they may have.

2

Respect Their Traditions and Values, Even If They're Different from Yours

In Indian culture, tradition and values are highly respected, and it's essential to respect your in-laws' traditions and values, even if they're different from yours. This means being open-minded and willing to learn about their customs and practices. For instance, if your in-laws are from a conservative family in Mumbai, they may have certain expectations about how you should dress or behave in public. By respecting their traditions and values, you can show them that you're willing to adapt and adjust to their way of life. You can also learn about their favorite Indian festivals, such as Diwali or Holi, and participate in the celebrations with enthusiasm. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. Additionally, you can try to learn more about PCOS symptoms to better understand any health concerns they may have, and take steps to support them in their journey.

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3

Communicate Effectively and Avoid Misunderstandings

Effective communication is key to building a strong relationship with your in-laws. This means being clear and direct in your communication, and avoiding misunderstandings. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very involved in their children's lives, and they may have a lot of advice to offer. By communicating effectively, you can avoid misunderstandings and build trust with your in-laws. You can start by being open and honest with them, and expressing your feelings and needs in a clear and respectful manner. You can also ask them about their feelings and needs, and listen to their perspective with empathy and understanding. For example, if you're feeling overwhelmed with household chores, you can talk to your in-laws about it and ask for their help or advice. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. Don't forget to take a check your symptoms quiz to better understand your own health and well-being, and how it may impact your relationships with your in-laws.

Step 4

Show Appreciation and Gratitude, Especially During Indian Festivals

Showing appreciation and gratitude towards your in-laws can go a long way in building a strong relationship with them. This means expressing your thanks and appreciation for all that they do for you and your husband, and showing them that you value and respect their contributions. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very generous and supportive, and they may do a lot for you and your husband without expecting anything in return. By showing appreciation and gratitude, you can build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. You can start by thanking them for their help and support, and expressing your appreciation for all that they do for you. You can also show your gratitude by doing small gestures, such as cooking their favorite meal or giving them a small gift. For example, during the Indian festival of Raksha Bandhan, you can show your appreciation by tying a rakhi on your brother-in-law's wrist and giving him a gift, or by cooking a special meal for your in-laws and spending quality time with them. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. You can also use the period calculator to plan your activities and celebrations around your menstrual cycle, and make the most of your time with your in-laws.

5

Be Patient and Flexible, Especially in a Joint Family Setup

Building a strong relationship with your in-laws takes time and effort, and it's essential to be patient and flexible. This means being willing to adjust to their way of life and being open to new experiences and challenges. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very involved in their children's lives, and they may have a lot of expectations and demands. By being patient and flexible, you can build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. You can start by being open-minded and willing to learn, and by being patient with their expectations and demands. You can also show your flexibility by being willing to adjust to their way of life and being open to new experiences and challenges. For example, if your in-laws are from a joint family in Chennai, they may have certain expectations about how you should behave and interact with other family members. By being patient and flexible, you can build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. Just remember to prioritize your own needs and well-being, and don't hesitate to seek help if you need it - you can always take a check your symptoms quiz to better understand your health and how it may impact your relationships.

One thing that can really help is to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs and well-being, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
6

Seek Common Ground and Shared Interests, Such as Indian Music or Dance

Seeking common ground and shared interests with your in-laws can help you build a strong bond with them. This means finding things that you both enjoy and can do together, such as watching Indian movies, listening to Indian music, or practicing yoga or meditation. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very involved in their children's lives, and they may have a lot of shared interests and activities. By seeking common ground and shared interests, you can build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. You can start by asking them about their hobbies and interests, and finding things that you both enjoy. You can also try new activities and experiences together, such as taking a cooking class or going on a trip. For example, if your in-laws love Indian classical music, you can attend a concert together or take a class to learn more about it. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. Don't forget to learn more about PCOS in Indian women to better understand any health concerns they may have, and how you can support them.

One thing to watch out for is cultural or generational differences that may lead to misunderstandings or conflicts - be patient and try to understand their perspective, and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice if you need it.

7

Show Respect and Deferral, Especially to Your Elders

Showing respect and deferral to your in-laws is essential in building a strong relationship with them. This means being respectful and courteous in your interactions with them, and showing deference to their age and experience. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very respected and revered, and they may have a lot of wisdom and experience to share. By showing respect and deferral, you can build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. You can start by being polite and courteous in your interactions with them, and showing respect for their age and experience. You can also show your respect by seeking their advice and guidance, and being open to their feedback and criticism. For example, if your in-laws are from a traditional family in Kolkata, they may have certain expectations about how you should behave and interact with them. By showing respect and deferral, you can build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. Remember to also prioritize your own health and well-being, and don't hesitate to take a check your symptoms quiz to better understand your body and how it may impact your relationships.

PurpleGirl Insight

"One thing that can really help is to show genuine interest in your in-laws' lives and traditions, like asking them about their favorite Indian festivals or trying to cook their favorite dishes, such as a hearty bowl of rajma chawal from Punjab."

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Frequently Asked Questions

How can I build a strong relationship with my in-laws if we have different values and traditions?
Building a strong relationship with your in-laws requires effort and patience, especially if you have different values and traditions. Start by showing respect and appreciation for their values and traditions, and be open to learning about their customs and practices. You can also try to find common ground and shared interests, and focus on building a strong bond with them based on mutual respect and understanding. For example, you can ask them about their favorite Indian festivals or traditions, and participate in the celebrations with enthusiasm. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create lasting memories. Don't forget to learn more about [PCOS symptoms](/how-to/pcos-symptoms-and-treatment-in-india) to better understand any health concerns they may have, and how you can support them in their journey.
What are some common mistakes that Indian women make when building a relationship with their in-laws?
One common mistake that Indian women make when building a relationship with their in-laws is not showing enough respect and deference. In Indian culture, respect for elders is highly valued, and not showing enough respect can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Another common mistake is not being open-minded and flexible, and not being willing to adjust to their way of life. By being patient, flexible, and respectful, you can build a strong bond with your in-laws and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. Remember to prioritize your own needs and well-being, and don't hesitate to seek help if you need it - you can always take a [check your symptoms](/quiz/pcos-quiz) quiz to better understand your health and how it may impact your relationships.
How can I handle conflicts or disagreements with my in-laws?
Handling conflicts or disagreements with your in-laws requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Start by staying calm and composed, and try to understand their perspective and point of view. Avoid being confrontational or aggressive, and instead focus on finding a solution that works for everyone. You can also try to seek common ground and shared interests, and focus on building a strong bond with them based on mutual respect and understanding. For example, you can talk to them about your feelings and concerns, and listen to their perspective with empathy and understanding. This will help you build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. Don't forget to learn more about [thyroid symptoms](/how-to/thyroid-symptoms-in-women-india) to better understand any health concerns they may have, and how you can support them in their journey.
What are some ways to show appreciation and gratitude to my in-laws?
There are many ways to show appreciation and gratitude to your in-laws, such as expressing your thanks and appreciation for all that they do for you and your husband. You can also show your gratitude by doing small gestures, such as cooking their favorite meal or giving them a small gift. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very generous and supportive, and they may do a lot for you and your husband without expecting anything in return. By showing appreciation and gratitude, you can build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home. For example, during the Indian festival of Raksha Bandhan, you can show your appreciation by tying a rakhi on your brother-in-law's wrist and giving him a gift, or by cooking a special meal for your in-laws and spending quality time with them.
How can I build a strong relationship with my in-laws if we live in different cities or countries?
Building a strong relationship with your in-laws requires effort and communication, even if you live in different cities or countries. Start by staying in touch with them through regular phone calls, video calls, or messages. You can also try to visit them as often as possible, and show your love and appreciation for them through small gestures and gifts. In India, where family is highly valued, it's common for in-laws to be very close-knit and supportive, and they may expect you to stay in touch and show your love and appreciation for them. By being proactive and communicative, you can build a strong bond with them and create a positive and supportive environment in your home, even if you're physically far apart. Don't forget to prioritize your own health and well-being, and don't hesitate to take a [check your symptoms](/quiz/pcos-quiz) quiz to better understand your body and how it may impact your relationships.

Reviewed & Verified By

RB

Dr. Ritu Bansal

MA (Psychology), M.Phil (Clinical Psychology)

Licensed Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Dr. Ritu Bansal ensures that all information provided in this guide aligns with the latest medical, legal, and professional standards in India. PurpleGirl Media relies on credentialed experts to provide a safe, accurate space for women.

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